


Etched On His Soul

by Doncaster_Ren



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Armitage Hux Has Feelings, Fluff, M/M, Nonbinary Kylo Ren, Trans Armitage Hux, but he doesn't know how to express them
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-22
Updated: 2020-08-22
Packaged: 2021-03-06 16:09:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,020
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26051674
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Doncaster_Ren/pseuds/Doncaster_Ren
Summary: Kylo Ren's face lives rent free in General Hux's head. A sentimental one shot.Written for Emperor's Vornskr, who's face lives rent free in my head.
Relationships: Armitage Hux/Kylo Ren
Comments: 4
Kudos: 63





	Etched On His Soul

The first time he saw Kylo’s face, it barely left an impression. Hux simply did not connect the sullen, pale face with the powerful Knight he’d fought and bickered with. In that moment it was merely the scowling face of a stranger whom he happened to walk past. It was of no interest to Hux. 

The second time he saw it, it was immediately apparent whose face it was. This time the scowl was directly focused on Hux as the two were arguing. In that moment the face was nothing more than an annoyance. Hux only saw the petulant face of a spoiled child. 

The face stuck with him, though. Especially in further arguments where Kylo left the helmet on. Hux still saw the heavy brows lowering over his dark, expressive eyes. The nostrils flaring at the base of his long nose. His reddened lip curved upwards in a snarl; crooked teeth exposed. Thinking of that face only irritated Hux more. It did not stop him thinking of it, though. 

The first time Hux saw Kylo's face at rest came as a shock. It did not last long. Hux had been frequently sleepless around that time. The stress of fulfilling their orders from Snoke had been weighing on him heavily. In the early hours, Hux expected to be alone, wanted to be alone, when he wandered into the training room on the officers deck. Kylo was there, fresh from the shower, having finished his training already. 

The knight appeared lost in thought as he combed his wet hair. Hux hadn’t ever imagined those facial features could be so still. Eyes were unfocused, lips were relaxed, just slightly parted. It softened the man in Hux’s eyes, to see him like this. Perhaps being alone or the physical exertion of training had a calming effect on the otherwise mercurial man. 

Hux watched in silence for a while, wondering whether the knight assumed he was still alone or was aware of the General’s presence and chose not to mention it. The hair and mask had clearly done a good job of hiding the large ears, which now stood out against Kylo’s head. Without his anger and passion being a primary focus Hux was able to observe the moles across his face, and the aquiline nose, the fullness of his lips.

“Yes, I know you’re there,” Kylo said curtly as he abruptly turned towards Hux, a glare now settling across the once still eyes. “Don’t let me keep you from your training.”

“I’d hardly allow you to have such power over my actions. Though I do not deny my delight in seeing you not destroying my ship, for once!” 

Kylo sneered in reply; lips once again curling up over his crooked teeth, a sight Hux was far more accustomed to. As he stormed past the general, Hux tried to stop himself from watching the other man leave. At the last second he turned his head and glanced once more at the almost comically large ears that stuck out from the knight’s hair. 

After that day, Hux made it a point not to go that early into the training room. And made it a point to not go wherever he might risk seeing Kylo without his mask again. And made a point of not thinking about what Kylo’s face looked like when lost in thought. 

Until he didn’t.

“It’s hardly my fault that you are here when I need to be!” Hux would yell when he was caught once again staring at the Knight's placid features. Because truth be told, Hux liked it when Kylo’s face was contorted in anger just as much as when it was calm.

Not that he’d ever once admitted such things to himself. Not even when he learned when and where he could interrupt Kylo’s supper. Not even when his breath rate increased and the blood rushed through his veins and when the sight of those plush red lips curled in anger made all the warmth in his body pool in one central location.

Hux could barely admit any of it, not even when he was filled with self shame and loathing as he bit his own lip and came against his hand while recalling the time Kylo had been so angry he’d pushed Hux backwards against a doorframe. Kylo’s eyes had been blazing and his body emanated heat as he trapped Hux between the door and himself, practically spitting with anger. Hux still recalled the feeling of heat flooding his thighs and pelvis as he glared back at the seething Knight. 

He still admitted none of this when he once again stopped seeking out Kylo’s face. For weeks he only visited the training room in the late evenings and all his meals were served to him in private. He barely looked at Kylo’s helmet anymore, truth be told. The black and chrome visage was no longer what he saw. Instead the merest glance at the iron mask brought visions of eyes that reminded him of storms on Arkansis. And a mouth that looked too full and plump. He tried thinking of it as pouty, but it wasn’t thoughts of petulance that filled Hux’s mind when he let his mind stray to them. 

Hux forced himself to maintain strict control over all parts of his life for the better part of a standard month. His actions, his thoughts, his words were all monitored to be nothing short of professional. He was a General after all, and his life was guided by order and discipline. No stray glances or stray thoughts would cause him to falter. 

His strict discipline came to a head one evening when chaos reared its pretty face. And by “chaos,” he meant “Kylo.”

Hux had gone a whole month not seeing a single soul in the officers training area. He’d deliberately started going when he knew the other officers were either on duty or were not the type inclined to frequent the training area. 

Hux had just emerged from the showers and was wrapping a towel around him when he noticed Kylo standing there in his training gear, watching him.

“Kriff, man!” Hux startled. “How long have you been standing there?”

“A while. You’re not very aware of your surroundings, are you? I could easily have stabbed you.”

Hux raised an unimpressed eyebrow. “I’d like to see you try.... Why the fuck are you here at this time of night?”

“You’re trans,” Kylo stated without preamble, ignoring the question addressed to him.

Hux’s face collapsed into a glare directed at the taller man. When he looked up at Kylo’s face it was expressionless, though. 

“If you think that is any concern of yours you have another thing coming to you!” Hux delighted in the sudden look of alarm that passed across Kylo’s face when Hux closed the space between them and grabbed firmly hold of the other man’s collar with both hands, bringing their faces in close proximity. Though he knew deep down that Kylo was more surprised than fearful of the threat, Hux thrilled at the feeling of power he imagined having over Kylo.

“I… I am aware it’s not my concern, but I did not mean offence. I merely was stating the observation. I… assure you I did not mean it negatively or as a threat.”

Hux carefully schooled his own face into the same glare as he watched Kylo flounder over his words and as his cheeks pinked. 

“Are you just an idiot, then” Hux asked, cooley as he watched Kylo finally close his eyes to avoid the General’s steely gaze.

“I am not an idiot,” Kylo muttered.

Hux searched the man’s face. The long lashes, the way the pink cheeks contrasted with the smattering of dark moles. The way the blush of his lips seemed far more femnine than the rest of him. Hux’s breath came in heavy pants when Kylo’s lip was caught between his teeth, a gesture of nervousness. Or seduction? No, surely Kylo couldn’t be so self aware to understand any of the tools of seduction. However….

Looking into that face, Hux knew what he wanted to say. He wanted to be able to say “Your idiot mouth gets you in trouble. Why don’t you put it to good use for once?” Hux’s breath caught just at the thought of dropping his towel and forcing the Knight’s plump lips between his legs. 

Instead, he let go of Kylo’s collar and slightly pushed him away.   
“I’m just about done here and you can have the whole locker room to yourself.” He then did drop his towel, but immediately crossed to his locker and pulled out his clothes and began to redress. Now that Kylo knew, Hux wasn’t about to be shy about his body. This was very much a power move itself, to stand unashamed. He refused to let himself rush through the process of dressing, even though he felt the other man’s gaze heavy on the back of his neck. 

“You did come here to train, correct?” Hux glanced back at Kylo as he slipped his shoes back on. “Or did you come here just to oggle and found more than you expected?” Hux raised an eyebrow as he saw Kylo’s cheeks redden once more. “Or perhaps less?” He joked with a smirk. 

Kylo didn’t respond, just shook his head. 

Finally dressed, Hux rose again and went towards the Knight. “And you’re quite wrong, you know. You are an idiot. I’ve never met a cis man who wasn’t.” Hux was determined to let that be the last world and strode towards the exit. He faltered, though, and paused briefly at the door when he heard Kylo respond.

“I’m not, though…. Cis, I mean.”

It took every last bit of will power Hux possessed to not to turn around and gape at the Knight. But he was a general, dammit. He commanded armies. He wasn’t about to gape slack jawed at Kylo Ren. 

The next morning Hux put in the order to include Kylo on a mission to the outer rim. But not before he pulled up the knight’s files. “NB, (they/them)” the document read next to Gender. Non Binary. Hux sniffed sharply. He didn’t recall Kylo ever mentioning that. Though Hux also never recalled asking them either. 

He closed out the file and put in the order to send Kylo away for the next month at least. He idly thought of Kylo’s red lip caught between their teeth as he signed the missive. Yes. A month without distraction would be very good indeed. 

Hux watched from a deck high above the hanger as Kylo left with the troopers. Kylo was wearing their helmet, but that didn’t stop Hux from seeing their face in his mind’s eye. He wondered if they had a scowl across their face. Probably. 

Hux was unable to stop himself from startling when Kylo halted before entering the shuttle and turned to look back up directly towards where Hux was standing. He was so tempted to look away from the helmeted gaze, but he stood fast. After what felt like an eternity, Kylo tilted their head at an angle, some form of acknowledgement or understanding, and then turned back around to stride into the shuttle and out of sight. 

Hux watched as the shuttle departed, and wondered how much of his private thoughts were open to Kylo. He hoped he never found out.

Hux lasted a mere two hours before he found himself replaying in his head the interaction between him and Kylo in the officer’s locker room. It was a whole two days before he checked the status report of the mission he’d sent Kylo along with. He set down his datapad immediately afterwards and ordered himself to not check it for at least another week. He lasted two more days. He checked it daily after that point. 

The mission was completed an entire week early, which stood to reason. Sending a force trained Knight was overkill. Hux knew exactly when the shuttle would be arriving and exactly when and where Kylo would be debriefed on the mission. He made sure to be nowhere near the hanger bay when that happened. Though that didn’t stop his mind from straying to Kylo. Hux knew exactly what their face would look like, screwed up in irritation and being forced to debrief. Hux also knew the debrief was unlikely to happen. Kylo would be more likely to threaten the lieutenant in charge and storm out. The corner of Hux’s mouth raised slightly as he imagined it. 

Hux refused to acknowledge Kylo’s return in any way. Well, not directly to the knight, anyway. Not at first. Hux read the report, read the debriefing notes (Kylo had indeed threatened the lieutenant and stormed off). Hux read the report again. He was surprised when he saw mention that Kylo had received an injury, though the details were not recorded. Immediately, Hux’s fingers flew to open the medbay reports and could see no record that Kylo had been admitted. Well, that would not do. 

It was the middle of the night shift when Hux used his override code to enter Kylo’s quarters unannounced.

“Why did I receive report that you’d been injured but you’ve not gone to medbay?” Hux demanded.

All of Hux’s General-like intensity was currently focused on on the wide eyed Kylo who’s alarm somewhat abated when they saw it was merely their petty co-commander and not an invading army. 

Hux slowly took in the sight of Kylo. Their hair was partially pulled back into braids, their torso naked, save for a silken robe with Alderaanian Flame Roses embroidered across it. Their black lounge pants hung low on their hips. Hux eyed the thick middle of Kylo which was both muscular and soft. 

“You do know that it’s the middle of night shift, right?” Kylo finally responded.

Hux’s eyes narrowed. “Of course I am aware. As am I aware of when your shuttle landed and when it was your duty to check in to medbay!”

The knight didn’t respond, not with ire, not with excuses, certainly not with answers. They just quietly and calmly tilted their head and observed the General. While the lack of response would normally have irked Hux to no end, the calmness of the knight eventually cooled the General down somewhat. 

Having lost some of his momentum, Hux soon found it difficult to explain his presence before Kylo and he began to visibly deflate. 

“I’m perfectly fine, do you need to see where I was injured?” Kylo reached up and pulled at the collar of their robe, exposing their shoulder which had medical tape wrapped across it. A field dressing, but clearly well done. 

Kylo held perfectly still while Hux’s feet moved him forward and his fingers reached out towards the taped up shoulder. He pressed gently against the edges and looked up at the knight’s face to search for signs of wincing or pain. 

“See… it doesn’t even hurt any more,” Kylo said as they brought their own hand upwards to grasp Hux’s hand in their own, both of them now pressing against the wound. “Is that why you came here?” They spoke in a whisper now. “Did you come to make sure I was all right?” As Kylo spoke, they edged their face closer to Hux’s until they were whispering directly into his temple. “Does that make you feel better”

The knight’s breath tickled at Hux’s hair as they spoke, but it was a relaxing sort of sensation. His head tilted forward and he found himself muttering softly “yes” into Kylo’s collarbone. 

The two of them stood in near stillness for a while, connected by their hands on Kylo’s shoulder and their soft breathing. Finally Kylo was the first to move, reaching out for Hux’s other hand and placing it on their hip.

“Would you feel better if you stayed and kept an eye on me?” they asked. “Make sure I don’t get worse overnight?”

Hux didn’t respond with words, but he allowed his fingers to dig into Kylo’s soft hip, allowed the distance between them to become smaller, allowed his mouth to connect with the curved collar bone in front of him. 

And without further discussion, the two came together in a landscape of touch, heat, moans, and intense sensation. Mouths and hands traced solid planes of flesh and soft warm places that throbbed with pleasure. Teeth raked and fingers dug and hot breaths became heavy as the two rolled across Kylo’s bed until both of them were screaming and sated. 

At one point, Hux had looked up at Kylo’s face while it was contorted in pleasure, their plump lips parted and eyes rolled back. And he knew with a fateful stab of horror that this image would be burned in his memory forever. 

Those lips would never leave Hux’s mind’s eye. Those lips that Hux had allowed to touch him intimately and to bring him to exquisite climax, but which he hadn’t permitted himself a taste of that evening. Those lips would haunt him.

Once more, in the morning, Hux assigned Kylo to an extended mission. And once more he stood on the deck high above the hangar to watch their departure. And once more, Kylo paused on the boarding ramp to turn around and look back up, directly where they knew Hux was standing watch.

But this time, their gloved hands reached up to the release clasps of their helmet and pulled it up and over their head. Hux noticed their hair was still pulled back into braids, the same style as the night before. They’d been redone, though, since Hux knew intimately that the braids from last night fell out as he himself used them for purchase as he writhed in ecstasy against Kylo’s face. Hux’s heart raced and his cock and cunt throbbed in recollection as he looked down at the face in question. 

As if they knew exactly what Hux was thinking, Kylo smirked and nodded their head before turning once more towards the shuttle, their robes flowing elegantly behind them as they purposefully strode away.

Hux sighed and wondered, if this was a game, who was playing whom. 

This time he didn’t even pretend he wasn’t tracking the mission from the start. His datapad was set to alert him to any updates on the mission. Each night he read the details of the daily mission update. They were beyond dull most of the time, but Hux consumed them ravenously. 

Two weeks in, Hux received a direct communication from Kylo.

:: If you read the report you will find I have been injured. It is very mild and I have received care. You need not worry. ::

Hux scoffed at the message and immediately sent a reply.

:: You flatter yourself to think that I care ::

He immediately went to read the report and saw indeed that Kylo had been shot in the abdomen. It was recorded that he received stitches and a blood transfusion by a medic droid.

:: REN! Anything requiring stitches and a blood transfusion is NOT MILD! ::

:: So you do care? ::

Hux pressed his eyes shut and ran his hands through his hair before finally responding.

:: Thank you for the update on your physical condition. I appreciate the information that my co-commander is in stable condition. ::

:: You’re welcome. I didn’t want you to worry. :: 

Hux rolled his eyes. :: Again, you flatter yourself ::

Hux checked his datapad throughout the night for any updates that might have been posted on the mission or on Kylo’s condition.

When Hux saw a notification the next day that Kylo had received medical care once more, he was the first to send a communication.

:: Why are you receiving medical care two days in a row!?::

It took 7 hours of waiting before Hux finally received a response. 

:: I just pulled a couple of stitches, that’s all ::

During those 7 hours Hux had been entertaining all sorts of possible scenarios of what had happened to Kylo. By the end he imagined they were probably dead. 

:: Fuck you, you could have texted me that HOURS AGO!!! ::

:: I thought you didn’t care ….. ::

:: I don’t :: Hux typed, fighting back tears. He told himself he was just angry. Angry at Kylo, who was an idiot. :: You’re an idiot.::

:: I know ::

:: Just… :: Hux stared down at the blinking cursor on his datapad for a long time. :: Be more careful::

:: I will ::

:: Thank you, and :: Hux paused before he finished typing :: keep me updated on how things are going with the mission ::

Hux immediately threw the datapad aside as soon as he was finished typing. He needed to distance himself from the conversation for a while. Or from his sentiment….

The communications between the two became a daily occurrence after that. At first it was updates of concern from the mission. And then it was updates on regular daily events. Gossip about those around them. Just checking in to see if the other was awake. Then they began discussing deeper things.

:: How did you switch from being a Jedi to the apprentice of Snoke? ::

:: What was your childhood like? ::

:: When did you know you were trans? ::

These conversations began to be the highlight of Hux’s day. Something to look forward to when he couldn’t remember having had anything to look forward to in a long time. Maybe not ever. 

The day Hux read in the report that the mission was being directly targeted by the Resistance, his heart clenched. After he read that the team headed into the unknown regions to attempt to evade their bombers Hux stopped sleeping. Contact from the unknown regions was unlikely at best. For three days there was no contact at all and Hux was a mess. His fleet was too large and slow to be able to make it to the unknown regions quickly. It would be madness for him to board a shuttle and go after the mission. To go after Kylo. 

And so Hux continued to do his job. Poorly. 

The day he finally got a communication from the mission he nearly fell over. The shuttle had received major damage, but was heading back. Kylo Ren had received injury, but was recovering. 

The moment Hux received word that the mission shuttle was approaching the hangar bay he sprinted across the ship to get there as fast as possible.

He ordered all non essential staff to leave the bay and demanded a med droid be on hand in case it was needed. 

Hux’s breath caught in his chest when the boarding ramp lowered and the crew emerged. Finally, Ren themself came forward, supported by a Trooper, but otherwise walking on their own. 

The sob that broke free from Hux’s chest echoed throughout the entire hangar bay. 

“Aside, trooper,” he choked out as Hux approached Ren, reaching out to wrap one arm around the knight’s torso.

Ren was not wearing their mask and Hux reached with his other hand to firmly grasp hold of their jaw.

“So you do care,” Ren managed to rasp out.

“Shut up. Just shut up.” And Hux pinched the jaw tightly within his fingers as if to never let go and sharply drew the knight’s mouth down on his own, finally tasting the floral soft lips that had haunted his dreams for months. 

“What have you done to me?” the General finally asked, when he’d finished kissing the knight, though his lips were still held against the other’s and brushed them as he spoke. He looked up into the storm like eyes, which were now more like pools left after the storm. Once more they kissed, drinking each other in as if each kiss were a lifesaving serum. 

“Are you going to send me away again in the morning?” the knight asked between kisses. 

Hux suppressed a sob and said nothing, only shook his head. 

Together they stood in the bay, careless now of whoever was looking on, wrapped tightly in each other’s embrace, unwilling to let go. A tangible representation of the effect they’d made on each other’s souls.

**Author's Note:**

> There is a shift of pronouns used midway through this story. It is not an error, it is because the story is told through Hux's limited perspective.


End file.
